Sep 14 2009
The Clothes Make the Man
Regardless of whether or not the Army actually lets someone retire, they require every potential retiree to attend training on how to be a civilian. This training is mandatory and follows the standard operating procedure of all Army training: Conduct training in warm crowded room; Talk in monotone voice; Read off power point slides that are neither updated nor accurate; Spend majority of time explaining how to fill out a form. Civilians would find this standard of training unacceptable and demand it be changed. However, military people have not been trained on how to be a civilian yet, so they just quietly endure.
Dale slogged through his mandatory training with a firm resolve to learn what it took to become a civilian. With excessive quantities of coffee flowing through his veins, he attempted to stay awake and learn something new. It looked dire for days, when suddenly a real live civilian appeared. A well dressed tailor stood at the front and began to explain to the flabbergasted audience how to dress well.
Dale has spent 20 years putting on a uniform according to regulations, but when he changes out of his uniform, he puts on one of two things: jeans and a t-shirt or khakis and a button down shirt. How to dress well has never been his concern. So, he was amazed to learn about thread count, acceptable knots and materials for ties, number of buttons on suit coats, why you need a brown belt and a black belt, and about items strangely termed “accessories for men.”
The tailor informed him that a potential employer will not want to pay him a good salary if he is wearing a cheap suit. Thankfully, Dale was not one of the poor individuals who dared to wear their cheap suits to the class for evaluation. The tailor was a well spoken and forthright man who told the class to spend at least $500 on their suit, and he emphasized very strongly, “the clothes make the man.”
I was considering this point of view as I watched the Chicago Bears new quarterback play last night. When he quarterbacked for another team the last several years, he was really good. We Bears fans entered the season with high hopes with doubts. Bears fans are eternally optimistic and eternally pessimistic all at the same time. As I watched our new quarterback have the worst game of his career, I began to think “it must be the clothes” No matter how good of a quarterback someone is prior to putting on a Bear’s uniform, once he puts on the uniform, he becomes an awful quarterback. The clothes make the man.
I love this entry. I remember Jim McMann. He was a snappy dresser. And of course Michael Jordon always looked great. Maybe you can convince the tailor to head on over to Chgo. Mom
How well do I remember those days of training! At some point in time, I learned to catnap while standing at parade rest and while in the “front leaning rest” position! I wish, however, I had received training in how to be a civilian . . . apparently, civilians don’t relocate every two to four years. How strange!